


A World In Felt Tip Colours

by hollyblue2



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emma being cute, Fluff, M/M, Post Break Up, Single Parent Dean
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-30
Updated: 2017-06-30
Packaged: 2018-11-21 11:18:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,712
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11356404
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hollyblue2/pseuds/hollyblue2
Summary: Dean doesn’t like to be sad, not in front of Emma. He and Castiel broke up two months ago and he's been miserable ever since. However, when five-year-old Emma calls Castiel things might turn for the better.





	A World In Felt Tip Colours

**Author's Note:**

> Beta'd by the wonderful Nat ([galaxystiel](http://galaxystiel.tumblr.com) ♥

 

Dean doesn’t like to be sad, not in front of Emma. He smiles at her as he sets down her colouring book and their big set of felt tips pens. Emma looks up at him with wide green eyes as she kneels by the coffee table and spreads out her things. She’s got that look that she knows something but Dean ignores it because he’s an adult and he can deal with his own problems without shouldering them onto his five-year-old.

“Thanks, daddy!” Emma grins and begins concentrating on a new colouring, taking her time to choose just the right felt tip for her mermaid picture.

Dean sits down on the couch behind her and listens as she hums a tune he doesn’t recognise; he assumes it’s from one of the kids shows she watches in the mornings. He scrubs his face, wearily. It’s been a long week – a long several weeks - especially since his break up with Cas. He wishes he hadn’t been so stupid, but it’s too late now and he doubts Cas will ever want to come back.

A lump forms in his throat suddenly and it feels like he’s going to choke. He gets up swiftly, glancing back at his daughter to make sure she’s okay before heading out to the back porch for some fresh air. He just needs a moment, the deep breaths pushing away anything that reminds him of the past two years with Cas. It hurts his chest just to think about him, although Dean know it’s his own fault they broke up. His own stupid idea that he would be better off without Castiel and his interfering parents.

When Dean opens the door to the porch, he sees the rain and feels the chill but he sits down on the top step leading down to their small backyard anyway. It isn’t much but it’s enough for Emma to run around in when it’s warmer. He’d built her a playhouse with Cas the year previous and his stomach sinks when he looks over to it.

Rain drops are dripping on his shoulders and he shivers. If he doesn’t move soon he’s going to get very wet, but he can’t really find it within himself to care. Dean sighs and puts his head in his hands, hoping to block out any sights of what he and Cas had.

There’s a shuffle and a determined grunt behind him and Dean looks around to see Emma with her tiny pink umbrella opened up. She’s even managed to put her welly boots on the right feet which makes Dean smile, despite his heartache. Emma toddles over and sits next to Dean, umbrella above them as best she can to keep them dry.

“Daddy’s sad?” She asks, leaning against him. Dean takes the small umbrella off her and holds it to better protect them.

He doesn’t lie to her. “Yeah,” he tells her, taking her small hand in his own.

“Don’t be sad, Daddy.” She instructs with a frown. The words make tears spring to his eyes and he pulls Emma on to his lap single-handedly.

“I’m trying, sweetheart. I promise.” He hugs her tight until she gets restless and tries to escape.

“Can I show you my drawing?” She asks as she reaches the door, holding her hand out for Dean, head tilted to the side – _just like Cas_. Her wonky pigtails swish as she jigs around waiting.

“Of course you can,” Dean gets up and allows himself to be dragged back inside where it’s warm.

In the lounge, Emma is back kneeling at the coffee table, pens strewn everywhere and several pieces of plain paper scribbled and coloured on as well as her colouring book.

“This is you,” she points out a stick figure with green eyes and brown hair. “And Cas!” she pokes a finger at another figure with blue eyes and spiky black hair. “And me in the middle!” She’s grinning up at Dean and he feels terrible for letting Cas go and knowing his little Emma won’t see him again. They’d gotten on well together, both having a passion for drawing. Cas had made several outlines for Emma to colour in which she thoroughly enjoyed.

“It’s lovely,” he comments with a soft smile. Emma clambers up onto the couch and sits close to Dean, wriggling around to get comfy.

“We gonna see him soon?” She wonders. Dean sighs quietly.

“No, honey. I’m sorry.” Her face turns to sadness and her lip pops out in a pout that’s not unlike his own when he’s in a sour mood. Cas had always thought it was _cute_.

“Please?”

“We’re not together anymore, it doesn’t work like that.” Dean explains.

“Not friends anymore?”

Dean shakes his head before quietly saying, “But I want to be friends with him.”

“Kiss and make up!” Emma shouts excitedly, relaying the exact words he’d said to her when she pushed a girl in kindergarten.

Dean chuckles, because he wants to, it’s exactly what he wants but he’s ruined his relationship with Cas beyond repair. He doubts Cas would even want to talk to him after the things he’d said to him. It had all been in anger to drive him off and it had worked. The thoughts sadden him again and he pulls Emma close to him.

“I don’t think it’s that easy,”

“Me and Alex made up. It easy.” She states, she kneels up next to him and looks at him intently.

“Okay, alright. I think it’s your bedtime, little miss.” Dean changed the subject swiftly and hauled himself off the couch and pulled Emma into his arms. She squealed and laughed as he carted her off to bed.

After she’s changed into her pyjamas, Emma looks at Dean expectantly. He knows exactly what she wants and he doubts she’ll even try to sleep without playing her game of Happy Mrs. Chicken and a bedtime story.

Dean pulls his phone from his back pocket and hands it to Emma as she crawls under her covers. She’s good with the phone and had picked up simple educational games quickly. While she’s playing, Dean goes to the bookshelf to pick out one of the shorter books for him to read to her.

When he turns back around, Emma has the phone by her ear and is obviously calling someone.

“Emma, that’s not playing your game.” He tells her sternly.

“I’m calling Cas.” She says. Dean steps forward quickly and momentarily regrets teaching her how to call someone in case of emergencies.

“No. That’s only for emergencies, we talked about this, Emma.”

“This is an ‘merge’cies!” She retorts. He can hear the call ringing through and holds his hand out for the phone. Dean’s heart is racing – he hasn’t heard Cas’ voice in two months but he’s not even sure if he wants to.

“It’s not. Give me the phone, young lady.”

“But daddy’s sad…” She whines quietly and Dean’s sure there’s about to be tears. It breaks Dean’s heart to see her so upset but he asks for the phone again. As she grudgingly gives over the phone, Cas answers. He can’t ignore the tinny sound of Cas’ voice calling his name from where the phone is in his hand and holds it to his ear.

“ _Dean? Are you okay?_ ” Cas asks.

“Um, hey. Ah,” Dean stutters and turns on his heels.

“ _I, um, I wasn’t expecting you to call._ ” There’s a pause but Dean doesn’t speak. “ _I’m sorry._ ” Cas sounds guilty, like it’s his fault things with them went sideways.

“Don’t say you’re sorry, Cas. I – I shouldn’t have said the things I said. Um, hold on one moment.” He tells him and pulls the phone from his ear. He turns to his daughter who’s looking decidedly innocent tucked under her quilt with the book in her hand. “We’re not having a bedtime story now, Emma. Go to sleep and I’ll see you in the morning.” He smiles at her even though she pouts and kisses her forehead. Setting his phone to the side for a moment, he tucks her in and tells her he loves her before switching on her nightlight and heading out the door leaving it slightly ajar. “I love you, Emma.” He makes sure to tell her.

He heads to his own room and sits down on the edge of the bed before returning to the call. He’s surprised Cas hasn’t hung up on him yet.

“Hey, Cas.”

“ _Hello, Dean, it’s good to hear you again._ ”

“Yeah, yeah, you too.” Dean feels lost. This gives the perfect opportunity to right his wrongs and he wants to but isn’t sure that he should – he isn’t sure Cas would ever want him to. “Look, I’m sorry about the call, it’s late, for us anyway, and Emma got hold of my phone.”

“ _Oh._ ” Dean can hear the disappointment in his voice and his heart skips.

“I mean, I’ve been meaning to call – I should have called you. I should have called you. I’m sorry, Cas.” Dean rambles, dropping his head into his free hand. His leg begins to fidget and Dean stands up, pacing back and forth in the small space of his bedroom.

“ _I’m sorry too, Dean._ ” It’s not what Dean was expecting. He pauses his pacing and stares down at his feet waiting for Castiel to continue speaking. “ _I said things I shouldn’t have._ ”

Dean sighs, a pang of guilt all too familiar to him striking his gut. “We both said things we shouldn’t have.” He replies quietly. “I know your parents probably thought they were being helpful or something, but I’m letting Emma make her own decisions, they can’t take that from me. It’s what Lydia would have wanted anyway. I shouldn’t have yelled at you for what they did, I shouldn’t have made you choose between us and them.”

“ _Dean…”_

“Let me finish, Cas, please.” Dean’s voice is strained and he tries to keep his emotions in check. Just remembering the raised voices from the day they broke up makes Dean’s stomach churn and his heart pound. He couldn’t be more grateful that his brother had taken Emma for the night to let Dean and Cas have time on their own – Dean would never have imagined that their time alone would be taken up with harsh words and slamming doors and several tumblers of cheap whiskey.

“ _Yeah, of course,_ ” Cas replies.

“I want to give Emma all the choices she could ever want. I want…” Dean swallows harshly. “I want so much, Cas, and I want you to be here too. But I… I can’t make you choose between us and your parents – hell, I lost my mom too young and my father to too much alcohol, I won’t let what _I_ want take that from you, Cas. Me and Emma will be just fine.” Dean wasn’t convinced he was even making sense anymore, he could barely remember what he’d wanted to say but he stopped and gave Cas the chance to speak.

“ _You know I’ll always choose you, right?_ ” Cas says. Dean’s breath hitches in the back of his throat and his stomach drops through the floor. “ _I’ll always choose you, Dean, always. You are the best thing that’s ever happened to me. My parents – I can’t help but love them, but they don’t understand you giving Emma her own choices. They always chose everything for me and my brothers – our schools, our religion, what we did and how we acted. It grated on most of us as we grew up and understood what we could actually achieve. I love them both, of course I do. But you – you and Emma – you’re both so amazing and_ _Dean_ …?”

Dean makes a peculiar noise before responding. “Yeah?”

“ _Dean Winchester, I’ve been in love with you since the day I met you and I don’t think I’ve ever really stopped. These last two months have been miserable. Dean… I love you._ ”

“Don’t Cas… don’t say things like that.” Dean’s voice breaks as he speaks and he bites his fist to stop himself further.

“ _I mean it, Dean. I don’t want to let this go. I don’t want to leave you, I never did. I can never be forgiven for what I said before and I don’t expect you to, but I assure you that I meant none of it. You deserve everything, the entire world if I could give it to you._ ” Dean can hear Cas moving in the background like he’s opening doors. Finally, he can hear the back door open – he knows because it squeals _just so_ and his mind goes to the nights spent chilling out on Cas’ back porch. Beers on the swing seat, not necessarily talking but just being there for each other. Dean needed Cas. Just to be there, just to talk to, someone to rely on, someone to… someone to love.

“I need you, Cas…” Dean whispers, not even sure if Cas has heard him but not caring either way. “I… I’m still in love with you, Cas. Will you let me try again?”

“ _Yes, of course. As long as you let me try too. I promise everything will be good this time. I promise you that. My parents won’t interfere with you and Emma. I’ll make sure of that. I just want you so much Dean. I still love you so much._ ”

“Okay. Okay, we can do this.” Dean blows out a breath of relief and all of a sudden it feels like the heavy blanket that’s been covering him over the past few weeks has finally been lifted and he can finally see the world in full colour once again.

“ _I really think so._ ” Cas pauses for a moment. “ _Thank you,_ ” he says much quieter. “ _I’m out of town for a few days visiting my brother, but I’ll be back and we can see each other again?_ ”

“Okay, yeah. Drop me a line when you’re back in town?”

“ _Of course, Dean._ ” How Dean yearns to keep hearing his name from Cas.

“I’ll see you then. I gotta go… I think I need to apologise to a little someone for calling you.” Dean sighs happily. “It’s the best thing she’s done.”

Castiel chuckles a little on the other side of the line. “ _It is._ ” Dean can practically hear Castiel smiling still.

“I love you, Cas. I really do.”

“ _I know._ ”

“Ha. I’m so glad I introduced you to those movies.” Dean remarks. “Right, I need to go. I’ll catch up with you later, Cas.”

“ _Goodbye, Dean._ ” With that, the line goes dead and Dean smiles before pocketing his phone and returns to Emma’s bedroom.

It’s not surprising that he finds her sat up in bed, her well-loved lamb toy clutched in her arms. The nightlight is enough to illuminate her little face and her long hair.

“Hey, Em. You’re still awake, huh?” Dean asks quietly. The little girl nods and shuffles over to make space for her daddy to sit on the bed.

The bed creaks a little as he sits on it, it’s not really designed for his weight. Emma cuddles up to his side as soon as he’s down and places Lammy on his lap.

“Did you gets Cas back?” She asks, looking up at him.

“Um…” Dean starts, searching for the best way to explain it to the five-year-old. “We’re gonna try again, okay.”

“Can we goes to the park? I like it when he spins on the rounda…. round…” She stops trying to find the word and pokes Dean to finish for her.

“On the roundabout?” Dean confirms. Emma nods her head against his side and he smiles.

“I miss Cas,” Emma says with a yawn. Dean sweeps her onto his lap like she’s a tiny baby again and hugs her close trying to keep his emotions at bay. These past two months have been as hard for Emma as they have been for Dean and he regrets being so rash with Castiel about everything. He realises that they should have spoken to each other properly about it.

“I miss him too, Em,” Dean tells her and presses a kiss to her forehead. When he knows she’s drifted off to sleep again, he places her back into her bed and tucks her in, sliding Lammy into her arms where he knows the toy will be looked after. “Love you, Emma.”

Dean retreats back downstairs and puts the TV on to distract himself from thinking about Castiel. It’s made harder when his phone buzzes in his pocket when it’s nearing midnight with a text from Castiel.

 

> Cas | 11:37pm 7.10.16 | _Looks like I’ll be home tomorrow, Gabriel’s orders. How does 8pm at Benny’s Bar sound._

Dean’s heart does a complete flip and he sits up from his relaxed position, sprawled across both seats of the couch. His fingers stutter for a moment before replying.

 

> Dean | 11:39pm 7.10.16 | _Sounds perfect. See you there._

He smiles to himself for a moment before texting his brother.

 

> Dean | 11:42pm 7.10.16 | _You free to watch Emma tomorrow night? I’m going out at 8pm with Cas._
> 
> Sam | 11:43pm 7.10.16 | _With Cas!?_
> 
> Sam | 11:43pm 7.10.16 | _and of course. But still, with Cas!?_
> 
> Dean | 11:44pm 7.10.16 | _Yeah, with Cas. We’re working things out._
> 
> Sam | 11:43pm 7.10.16 | _That’s great to hear, man. I’ll be there. You two sort stuff out._

Dean’s suddenly exhausted and shuts off the TV before locking all the doors and heading off to bed. He was looking forward to the next day and seeing Cas again after two long months apart.

*

Before Dean knows it, it’s half past seven and he’s still juggling trying to get Emma ready to go with Sam for the night and trying to get himself ready. Emma is bouncing on his bed while he’s deciding which shirt to wear and Dean’s getting frustrated and apprehensive.

“Em, please stop bouncing for a moment, Uncle Sam will be here soon. Can you go and choose your shoes?” Dean says holding up two shirts before him and scrunching up his nose.

“I like your now shirt.” She announces and she stops bouncing and crawls to the edge of the bed before standing again and tugging at his Led Zeppelin shirt that’s as old as Emma is. “It smells nice.”

Dean chuckles and lays the two shirts on the bed before picking Emma up and swirling her around making her squeal. She laughs loudly and yells at Dean to keep going when he pauses to regain some semblance of balance. Instead he lifts her by her arm pits and blows a giant raspberry on her tummy.

“Daddy!” She shrieks. There’s a knock on the door and he puts Emma back on the floor.

“Go get your shoes. Don’t answer the door until I’m there, remember.” Dean reminds her and she scampers off. He can hear her treading carefully down the stairs. Dean forgoes changing tops and heads downstairs after Emma.

Answering the door, he’s relieved to see Sam waiting there with a small smile on his face.

“Hi, Uncle Sam!” Emma says from where she’s sat on her little stool trying to tie her laces for her boots. “Daddy, help please!” She says excitedly. Dean bends down to help her out and she grins excitedly. “Now I looks like you!” Emma exclaims. She’s wearing her pink and blue plaid shirt over a black t-shirt and a trendy pair of jeans.

Leaning against the door jamb, Sam chuckles behind him. “She does, you know. She has Lydia’s eyes though.” He tells Dean warmly. The thought sends a pang through him but he just smiles at his brother.

“Alright then, little monster. Time for you to go and annoy Uncle Sam for the night.” Dean teases passing Emma’s hand over to Sam’s so he can take her to his car. They’re about to leave when Sam stops and turns back to Dean.

“So, you and Cas, huh?” Sam asks, full of curiosity, Emma is spinning herself round under Sam’s hand and it’s always amazed Dean how she doesn’t get dizzy.

“Me and Cas… take two, I guess.” Dean confirms.

“Well, he’s looking pretty good tonight if you ask me,” Sam motions his head over his shoulder and Dean finally spots that Cas is leaning against his Continental in his trench coat and slacks, illuminated by the streetlight. Dean smiles widely subconsciously making his brother punch him in the shoulder. “Geez, Dean… Go get ‘em tiger!” Sam mocks.

“Hey, that’s my line, now get outta here.” Dean punches his brother back lightly and sends them on their way. He’s not prepared for the squeal from Emma as she spots Cas at the end of their driveway.

“Cas!” and she’s off running. Dean dashes out the door after her in just socks which soak up yesterday’s rain water. Emma is clinging to Cas’ leg but he’s not reacting and just looking over at Dean for his permission. Dean gives him a warm, pleasant smile and a nod and Cas picks her up with a roar.

“Hello, Emma. Hello, Dean.”

“Hi Cas! Me and Daddy really, really, really, _really_ missed you!” She tells him. Dean’s glad for the near darkness as it hides his reddening cheeks.

“I’ve missed you and your daddy too.” He tells her before returning her to the floor. “I think you’re supposed to be going with Uncle Sam for the night?”

“Yeah… hey, Cas?”

“Yes, Emma,” He bends to her level.

“Will you draw me a mermaid again to colour?”

Before Castiel has time to answer, Dean chips in, “Maybe the next time Cas comes over he’ll draw one for you, how does that sound?”

“Yay!” She cheers. “Bye daddy!” She wraps her arms around Dean’s legs quickly.

“Love you, Em. I’ll see you tomorrow.” Emma runs off to her uncle and leaves Dean and Cas stood there awkwardly.

They don’t know what to say to each other. Sam’s car rumbles behind them but neither of them pay any attention.

It seems a long while before either of them speak.

“Hey Cas.” Dean says with a small smile on his face.

“Hello, Dean.” Castiel replies.

“I… um… I have wet socks so I’ll be right back out.” Dean tells Cas nervously. He’s already hating the awkwardness between them. This should be easy, he _thought_ it would be easy but it’s like they’re meeting each other for the first time (again) and he just aches for things to be how they were. He misses having someone to curl up on the couch with in the evenings after Emma’s gone to sleep, misses conversation with someone who’s not asking _why_. It’s not that he doesn’t enjoy Emma’s questions, more that he requires more adult interaction. The lack of it has been draining over the last few months.

Dean dashes back inside.

It’s obvious as soon as Dean runs back inside to find a dry pair of socks he won’t be able to find any. There isn’t a single pair left in his drawer so Dean’s rooting through the ever-growing basket of his laundry that’s been at next to his wardrobe. He should really keep on top of his own chores.

Pulling out a pair, he slips them on, followed by his boots and a leather jacket. Locking up the house, he heads back out to where Cas is waiting.

Eyeballing Cas once again as he gets closer to him, he realises just how good he’s looking. He’s still wearing his trench coat and a shirt and tie, though it’s all rumpled like it’s not the first time he’s worn it. Cas’ hair is still a wild mess and his eyes under the street lamps are still a gorgeous blue.

“Let’s go,” Dean announces before he gets himself sucked into everything that’s Cas. They’re supposed to be starting again but Dean’s heart wants to jump right back in where they left off. He knows he shouldn’t do that, that he should keep things simple and friendly. Castiel turns to get into his car but Dean stops him with a light touch to his sleeve. “It’s a ten-minute walk. It’s a nice night too,”

“Okay,”

They walk close together the entire way there. Dean’s fingers itching to reach out and just take hold of Cas’ hand like old times but he stops himself several times. It’s frustrating but gentle self-reminders that they’re taking it slow is all he needs for now.

There’s a free booth in the back corner of Benny’s Bar and Dean sends Benny a signal to let him know that they’re there. In return, Benny throws him a curious glance when he spots Cas with Dean. Dean promptly ignores it and hopes Benny doesn’t mention it if he comes over to their table.

Dean had been a frequent – too frequent – flyer at Benny’s Bar in the days after they broke up. Emma had stayed with Sam and Dean had practically drowned himself in alcohol for the several days after. Benny had taken him home every night and given him glasses of water and Tylenol for the morning. It wasn’t long before Benny stopped serving him alcohol and called him out on his self-destructive behaviour. It was only then he’d realised that he’d practically abandoned his daughter – the one person who loved him unconditionally – to Sam and that was not fair on her.

“Dean?” Dean’s head snaps to Cas. He’s got a small, concerned frown on his face.

“I’m okay,” Dean tells him even though it’s far from true.

“You look like you’re thinking too much,” Cas tells him. Dean shrugs.

“Something like that. You ready to order?”

Castiel smiles, seemingly dropping the topic of Dean not being okay and nods.

“Let me guess: double bacon cheeseburger with extra onions rings and spicy fries?”

“You didn’t forget…” Castiel says wistfully.

“You’re kinda hard to forget,” Dean mumbles, but Cas catches it anyway and reaches a hand across the table to take Dean’s. “I missed you. A hell of a lot. The first few days after you… after I chased you out I was a wreck. I left my daughter at Sam’s and then didn’t stop drinking until Benny stopped me.”

Castiel sits in stunned silence until his eyes soften and a thumbs strokes across the back of Dean’s hand. The waitress comes over and despite their uneasy silence, cheerfully asks what they want. Castiel orders the same for them both along with two soft drinks and lets the lady leave them in peace.

Dean’s glad they’re tucked away in the corner. It feels like he’s breaking down – like the walls he’d built ever since Cas had left were being taken to by a sledgehammer. This wasn’t the way he imagined their second first date to go.

“It’s okay, Dean. You and Emma, you’re fine now.” Dean flicks his eyes up to Cas just for a moment and finds them locked there. Cas’ face is full of concern and his thumb is soothing over his hand.

Dean doesn’t want to need Castiel in his life. He shouldn’t need Castiel in his life; but he does.

The waitress chooses that particularly tense moment to hand them their drinks, Castiel mumbling a thank you before reaching over the table towards Dean. Dean sits stock still as Castiel’s hand comes towards him and it rests, warm and soft on his cheek. Affection surges through him and all at once he realises just how much he’s missed someone else’s touch.

“Let’s enjoy our burgers and then we can head home, okay?” Castiel says and his hand drops away from his face. Dean misses the touch already but he just nods and smiles at Cas without saying a word, he’s not even sure he can right now.

It’s not long before Benny comes out specially with their burgers. Dean’s best friend of many years eyes Cas warily as he sets down his dinner.

“Thank you,”

“Thanks, Benny,” Dean says quietly, picking up a fry and sticking it in his mouth despite it being piping hot. He doesn’t make a fuss though, much to Cas’ bemusement. Benny lingers for a moment, looking at Dean for an answer. The last thing Benny wants is Dean spiralling again. “Me and Cas are trying again, no need for the stink eye, princess.” Dean teases him and it earns him a grin from both Benny and Cas alike.

“Whatever you say, Chief.” Benny says smugly. He turns to Castiel and Dean watches as Cas’ eyes widen a little. “Look, you ain’t thinkin’ about hurtin’ him again, are ya?”

Castiel’s gaze shifts from Benny to Dean and Castiel gives him a little smile, pink colouring his cheeks.

“Not at all.”

“I’ve picked his drunk-ass up enough, I don’t want to have to do it again cos of you, you hear.”

“I understand, Benny.” Dean finds Castiel’s gaze back on him, watching him carefully. “I promise.”

Dean’s heart thuds in his chest. Oh.

“I’ll leave you to your meals then. Look after him, Cas.”

“I will.” Castiel’s eye contact breaks and he picks up his overloaded burger and bites into it with a grin like nothing had even transpired between Castiel and Benny. “These make me very happy.” He announces.

Dean finally finds it within him to give Castiel a little smile back. Under the table, Dean’s foot finds its way between Cas’ and he leaves it there as he begins to eat his burger. The burgers are heavenly, as expected, and Dean suddenly finds himself hungrier than he realised and wolfs it down in a few bites.

Castiel looks like he’s about to laugh when Dean looks back up, picking at his not-so-hot-anymore fries. “What?” Dean asks with a teasing tone, running his foot up the inside of Castiel’s leg.

“You enjoy your burger by any chance?” Castiel smirks and Dean licks his lips, tasting sauce as he does so.

“Could ask you the same thing,” Dean says, eyeing Castiel’s clear plate.

“In that case, yes, it was lovely. But, there is one thing that’s missing…” Castiel eyes over the waitress again. “Two slices of your finest pie, please.” Castiel said with a big grin.

Dean looks at him fondly. Castiel is just _perfect_. Dean almost wishes that what happened between them never happened – though, he wonders if it hadn’t happened he’d feel these strong emotions over him, like it’s the first time falling in love all over again.

*

The air is brisk as they leave the diner, calling out a goodbye to Benny before they disappear. Dean pulls the collar of his leather jacket up around his neck and takes Castiel’s hand without a second thought. If Castiel is surprised, Dean doesn’t realise it and they walk the streetlamp lit streets all the way home in a silence more comfortable that Dean’s memory foam bed.

Dean’s house comes into view before long and their walk slows, as if neither of them really want to leave the other. It’s true though, after the initial emotional conversation had passed, they’d both loosened up and it felt like they’d only seen each other yesterday. It was a light feeling, like the Castiel sized hole had filled itself in.

Castiel turns to face Dean when they get to the house and stops Dean dead in his tracks. Castiel’s arms are engulfing him in an unexpected hug, tight and comforting. “Please don’t blame yourself for what happened between us,” Castiel whispers, still clutching onto the back of Dean’s jacket like his life depends on it. “Please don’t do that. Okay?”

“Okay,” Dean replies, hot breath ghosting Castiel’s ear and holding on as tight as he can too. The touch is addictive and he doesn’t want to let go – ever. He holds tighter and squeezes his eyes shut.

“I love you, Dean.” Castiel murmurs, pulling Dean back from his body with reluctance.

“I know.” Dean replies with a soft smile.

“How does breakfast on Saturday sound?” Castiel asks.

“Yeah… that – that’s great, Cas. Um, the little monster will have to come with us, if that’s okay with you.”

“Of course it is. Of course, we can go to back to Benny’s if you want.”

“That sounds perfect, Emma loves it there – probably because Benny will give her extra strawberries on her pancakes but yeah, sounds perfect.” Dean smiles and takes Castiel’s hand once more and drags him in close. He’s not entirely sure what his plan was but they closer now, and it feels even closer that the bone-crushing, addictive embrace from earlier.

Turns out, Castiel makes the first move and pecks Dean on the cheek with a blush. “I’ll see you Saturday.” Castiel backs away from Dean and Dean can’t help but take a step forward after him. Perhaps he should invite him in. Perhaps this is _too early_ still and they should take it easy. By the time Dean’s broken himself out of his thoughts, Castiel is belted into his car and has started up the engine. “See you soon, Dean.”

“See ya, Cas,” Dean replies. He watches, shivers vibrating to his core with the cooling temperature as Castiel’s car heads down the street. He’s still standing there even when Castiel’s car has been out of view for some time and it’s a violent shiver that draws him back inside his quiet house.

Heading to his bedroom, he changes into a pair of boxers and a t-shirt before sliding under the covers. It’s strange without Emma in the house, he realises. It’s much quieter without her vibrance and energy around. He also finds, as he swipes a hand over the other side of the bed, that he misses someone else there; someone warm and inviting to huddle up to. He _coped_ before but never truly realised just how much he was missing part of himself through Castiel. He loved him so much. He was surprised that it had taken him this long – and an accidental call from Emma – to get back to him. Dean picks up his phone where it’s on charge on the nightstand and fires off a quick text.

 

> Dean | 11:38pm 08.10.16 | _I love you._

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed this! :D


End file.
